Feeling FAT

 

I am feeling appalling at the moment… very lethargic/tired, but I am eating still, just not binging (I am 2 days binge free now (since Monday 29th). I am hoping to go the whole week without, but not sure I will make it.

I have decided that the best way for me to move forward is to take each step as it comes… If I have a binge, instead of freaking out and becoming a one woman eating machine, I am going to try and get into the mind set of, I made a boo boo, that was the mistake – and get myself back on track.

I have used diet pills in the past, at the moment I am using Appesat, it works by swelling in the stomach and sending signals that you are full to your brain. So as long as I don’t overeat, it should help me with my snacking. Although it is pretty expensive and I don’t have much left. Im pretty sure my GP won’t prescribe me anything ever again since my diagnosis of EDNOS. So I am going to work through my stockpiles and take things from there. I think I have a few tubs of ADIOS, I can have a look at when my Appesat runs out.

I am getting no closer to being able to join a Gym due to lack of money, so I am going to start doing things in my living room, like planking and weights, squats etc… all of the exercises that use your own body weight as a resistance.  So I will update you all on progress with that.

I am also thinking of using a “page” (a lot like my food diary and my weight log) to show my progress photos… What do you think? Bear in mind at the moment I am very large, almost back to my highest weight ever… So they won’t be pretty in any form, more like reverse thinspo….

I have a lot of house work and home improvements to pick up on and improve on. So I will be keeping myself busy with clearing out, garden work and taking things I don’t want to charity shop or listing them on ebay.  So I’m going to be busy, busy, busy, which hopefully means I wont binge.