binge number 1

So after days of behaving and staying in control of my urges to binge... last night I fell off the wagon. I think all in all I ate around 2000 calories worth of food yesterday but it feels like more... I wanna say 3000 to be on the safe side, but there is no way I ate that much.

Just found out the forum I used to mod/admin has been resurrected! I genuinely can’t wait to see how it does. I have missed my community there.

I need to measure. I’ll measure today: then gym again tomorrow. I’m thinking of getting there even earlier.

29th June

So tomorrow is d day! 

Tomorrow I will actually calculate my losses and measurements so far... would anyone like to see my meals/gym info. 

I’d be more than happy to collect together what I’ve eaten and also my gym/workouts...

I’m good though x

Hello Darkness my old friend....

I am struggling right now. I have spent way too long in the light, over 2 whole years to be clear. But now I am once again.

Does anyone even read this blog? Or am I just rambling to myself?

Basically I am in a bad place mentally. I have been trying to follow Macros and have been eating more than I have ever allowed myself and it is killing me. I just don't know how people manage with eating so much.

As always my main problems are eating regularly, and then not binging... historically I would have made myself sick after a binge, but I haven't done that since before my daughter was born.

So blooming fed up with feeling this way now.

Need to get my brain back in gear and function properly.

All I want to do is cover myself over with a duvet and bury my head in the sand. I don't want to interact with people. I don't want to wake up. But I know I have too. I have my daughter to be strong for.... I must be strong.

CW: 268.2 (-7.8lbs)