Wednesday, 19 November 2014

Weigh in

On sunday I weighed in at 274.6lbs, the lowest I have been since well over a year ago. Unfortunately I have had a health scare which resulted in me binging yesterday and I am up 3lbs this morning, but, I will get it off by the weekend I hope. I have been looking at a food blog and I have to admit I am very excited about trying some of the recipes.

I watched Starving in Surburbia on Sunday morning and I have to say I am not sure what the fuss was about... It doesn't really give a true reflection of some pro ana sites. I know that some of these sites are really bad, and they show the worst side of pro ana. It made me wonder whether people really understand the difference between pro ana and pro anorexia.

Pro Ana - Is a community of sufferers that DO NOT wish to recover at this point in their life. In these communities people share their concerns plans and daily gripes with a community of people who suffer with an ED. They do not give tips or tricks, they do not encourage Eating Disorders and in my experience they would never "teach" someone to develop an ED as they see ED's as a psychological illness and not a "diet".

Pro Anorexia - Is a community of people who worship ana. They share tips/tricks to help each other become "better" at hiding their ED's and they also allow people who do not have ED's to join.

I think it is difficult to separate the two as they are so close. But in my opinion pro ana sites are there as away of getting support from people who have similar issues, and again in my experience they offer information on Recovery and Support. Pro anorexia sites do not.

I would say that I am pro ana (not pro anorexia), but the media have labelled the pro ana community as the worst of the worst. I am aware that my disorder is a psychological disease. I am aware that my ideal bodyweight is low, and by other means unattainable. But I am not ready to recover at the moment, as sad as it sounds, I don't feel sick... I don't feel ill enough or thin enough to need to recover.

I am not sure if this makes sense but over the years I have met some people I will consider to be lifelong friends via pro ana sites. But I would never give tips or tricks to people. Its sick and wrong.

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