Staying the same...

 

I suppose this is where I admit that I weigh myself every morning, apart from a Saturday!! (I don’t weight on a Saturday because I want to be able to enjoy  my Friday night/Saturday Day with my boyfriend without feeling guilty). It never works out that way though. It is always in the back of my mind. However it allows me to maybe have some food I wouldn’t normally allow myself, on the Friday night (Pizza, Chinese take-out etc…).

Anyway, the long and short of the above statement is that over the past 3 days I haven’t lost or gained. I have stayed exactly the same.  276.8lbs.

It’s not a number I am proud of. In fact I am disgusted with it. I hate being this size, I am a landwhale!! Urgh.

Anyway, I am making plans to become more active. As you all know times are hard at the moment, money is tight for me… but I am not going to let that stop me. I am thinking of starting a No cost fitness programme at home, so using bags with tins in as weights, planking, push ups, and crunches. Hopefully this will help me lose inches and feel better about myself. I am also hoping it will help with my sweaty-ness and the dark hairs growing on my chin… seriously I couldn’t be less glamorous if I tried. Apparently it’s my weight/hormones causing it :( I’m a soon to be bearded lady!!!!

I am also going to be more selfish. I never have been, I put my own plans to the side to do anything for anyone, but I am going to have more pamper “me” time. I will spend this time on beauty treatments, epilating/lasering body hair and doing pedicure/manicures etc… I am also going to spend more time on moisturising my body, as I want to try and keep my skin supple, to avoid having “baggy skin” as the weight comes off.  This is one of my BIGGEST fears, as there is no way in this life or the next I could ever afford to have corrective surgery as it costs tens of thousands of pounds.

I don’t want to look into weight loss surgery either, as I want to do it myself, and not take a shortcut. I did this to myself, and I need to repair the damage I have caused. A quick fix is not an option for me, I need to turn my life around for the better, and try to become healthier without destroying myself (again). Last year my whole life crumbled and I could function at even a basic level.  I can’t allow that to happen again!