August 2nd

So far I have lost 44.2lbs

I lost 2.8 overnight.

I bet I gain tomorrow. I’m almost certain I will... if I do then I’m going to train even harder and lift heavier weights. The pain will remind me for days to come what an idiot I am!

This is what runs through my head every day. I go to bed scared of what the next day will bring. 

I miss the anaregzig blog. I wanted to read it for comfort and it’s been removed. It’s made me really sad. 

I feel that heavy feeling, like something bad is going to happen, but I know I’m just stressing. 

So tired. Night all...